John Hathaway

So 16 years, 4 apartments, 3 houses, a condo, 3 states and a territory, 5 cars, 2 dogs, and innumerable friends and memories later I don’t think there’s a thing I would want to change.

I’d love to share some pics from those early days, but they’re all in the shipping container with all our other stuff somewhere in San Juan. So, instead I thought this would be a perfect occasion to re-share some wedding photos.

We were married in February 2004 in the  first wave of legal** gay marriages in San Francisco. I was in Zurich for a professional conference when the whole things started and was sure that it would be shut down by the time I returned and we’d miss out. But happily things continued for a second week.

The day we were married at San Francisco city hall was the same day that Bush proposed a constitutional amendment against gay marriage, so the press was covering things with renewed fervor. We were interviewed by a CNN camera crew and they asked if they could shoot the ceremony. (Interview didn’t make it, but clips of the ceremony were on News Night with Aaron Brown.)

Since we’d been together for 11 years at that point, I didn’t expect marriage to have a big impact on me. But I found the act of standing up publicly to announce and confirm my love and commitment to be one of the most moving and powerful moments of my life.

             

**Later of course it was decided that this was not actually legal. While I’ll always be thankful to Gavin Newsom for taking a powerful stand, I would have to admit that  I don’t think this falls within scope of mayoral power.  I loved tone of the letter we got from the city, explaining that while they didn’t think it was right, we were not legally married. They offered to either refund our license fees or donate them to the legal fund to fight for gay marriage.

Why does your coworker keep giving you those “looks”? Is your sister spending a bit too much time with the captain of her softball team? Have you been catching your boyfriend checking out other guys?

Just like you, I used to lay awake at night worrying about things like this. But not anymore! Now I’m using GLB test strips from Check4 to know for sure about all the Gays, Lesbians, and Bisexuals I inadvertently encounter every day. I’ve already been able to “out” 2 coworkers, my cousin, the guy at the sports bar who wanted to change the channel to gymnastics, and the (now former) pastor of my church!!! I just bought a second kit so I can have one at home and one for the gym.

Check4  has some other products you should check out too. I’m a big fan of the  PureWhite test strips. Unfortunately, the Check4Christ strips sometimes give false positives for those pesky agnostics.

Obviously, this is a joke. It’s a doctored photo of  the pool test strips we use from http://www.glbpoolspa.com/

(They also have another product whose name I find really funny: “GLB Strike Out” Wasn’t that the political action group I joined in college?)

But what if this was a real product? How well do you think it would sell? Discuss.

I don’t usually get this emotionally involved in news stories, but this one has me really upset in so many ways.

A gay 15 year old was shot by a classmate in southern California. Horrifying!! It’s so sad, both on the level of an individual person lost, but also on the level of the continuing issues of homophobia and gun violence in America.

The parents are, since this is America, suing the school. And while I’m nothing but sympathetic to their loss, I’m finding their legal action to be really questionable. Why?  Because they’re not claiming that the school allowed a homophobic environment hostile to their son. They’re not claiming that the school should have protected their son from guns. They’re claiming that the school didn’t enforce the dress code. The dress code? WTF?!?

Here’s the AP story: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26218530/

I wonder if their lawyer told them something like this:

Well, clearly we have case against the school district. But, no, we don’t want to go near the homophobia issue or the gun issue. Those are just really too controversial. They’re issues that juries get all riled up and opinionated about. No, if we want to win this case, we need to go after something a bit less emotional and more clear-cut.

Now, indisputably, your son’s choice of clothing and the fact that he wore makeup put him in danger from his classmates. Clearly this should not have been allowed to continue. And following the doctrine of in loco parentis, it clearly was not your responsibility as his parents, but the responsibility of the school to control what he wore.

It’s easy to see how grieving parents are looking for someone, anyone, to blame. But, is it worth ignoring the real issues to make a buck? I guess their lawyer thinks so.

We had a great time at SF Gay pride this year! Ended up with good spots to watch the parade at Market & 6^th . Chris and I met up with Marko and Fernando there. Parade seemed to move along well this year without the annoying gaps of previous years.

 Went on to the festival at Civic center. After 2 weeks of smoky, crappy weather, SF finally had a gorgeous afternoon. Sat on the grass to enjoy a corn dog and beer. (Although we didn’t get the anatomically “correct” ones we’ve seen in previous years.) Definitely doesn’t get any better for people watching. Always refreshing to see a bit more diversity than the typical white 30/40s Castro queens. Look! 20 year old Latina dykes!  

 More photos available here: http://johnhat.smugmug.com/photos/swfpopup.mg?AlbumID=5288450&AlbumKey=uQsoj